Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so. Four Questions time, qradruply so.

Q. What is Dave wearing?

A. Dave is sashaying down the runway in a French blue long-sleeve wrinkle-resistant classic Oxford cloth shirt with a button-down collar from L.L. Bean. This versatile dress shirt is also available in white, conventional blue, pink, and a shade of orange that L.L. Bean calls "sun." It sells for $34.50. Like generations of Simanoffs before him, Dave refuses to fasten the secondary, useless, auxiliary cuff buttons. They are stupid buttons and, anyway, people will enjoy a flash of Dave's sexy forearm skin. Completing Dave's ensemble: chinos, a brown belt, brown shoes, and a vintage 2008 security badge and work ID on a retractable belt clip.

Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?

A. Dave is in an upbeat mood.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood?

A. Dave woke up early this morning, and instead of staying in bed, he decided to come to Starbucks to get a jump on today's work. He feels vital and productive. Also, Dave is about one-fourth of the way through a venti iced Red Eye at Starbucks, which may be making him a bit more hummingbird-esque than usual.

Q. What is Dave reading?

A. Dave has started reading "Heart of Darkness." He vaguely recalls reading the Cliff's Notes in high school. Dave has just completed the first of the three sections. He thinks this Kurtz fellow sounds great. He can't wait to meet him.

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