Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Four Questions hangs its hat in Tennessee

Q. What is Dave wearing?

A. Dave is wearing a burgundy polo shirt and a pair of khakis. The polo-shirt-and-khakis combination have become something of his work uniform.

Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?

A. Dave is worried about getting pregnant.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood?

A. Dave is surrounded by pregnant people and, according to the new educational standards in Texas, pregnancy is contagious. Like a common cold. Also, Jesus lived at the same time as the dinosaurs -- 2000 years ago. The dinosaurs should actually be called Jesus lizards. Thomas Jefferson isn't a signficant historical figure, even though he's on our money. Jefferson Davis makes the cut for the textbooks, though, even though he was featured on Confederate States of America money.

Q. So, does Dave want to be a teacher in Texas?

A. Yes. Dave is planning his syllabus now. It's called "On the Eighth Day, G-d created Reagan." It sums up the entire Texas educational standards in one course. The course lasts 20 seconds.

No comments: