Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Four Questions are part of the rebel alliance, and a traitor. Take them away!

Q. What is Dave wearing?

A. If honor of the 200th anniversary of Abraham Lincoln's birth, Dave is wearing a large stovepipe hat and a fake beard. It is also the 200th anniversary of the birth of Charles Darwin, so Dave has nicknamed his Honda CR-V the Beagle and plans to drive around pushing the scientific theory of evolution on those who still embrace Biblical creationism.

Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?

A. Dave is a man of many moods today, as the following photograph (taken just moments ago) illustrates:

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave’s mood?

A. Dave feels like hamming it up for the camera. (Question: Are Jewish people allowed to ham it up for the camera?) Also, feels it was a bad decision to take pictures from that particular camera angle, as it gives the impression that his body has approximately the same shape as Grimace's, the McDonald's spokes-whatever-the-hell-it-is.

Q. What the hell is Dave doing in that fourth photo?

A. Dave was attempting to position his hands for a Home Alone scream, but couldn't do it in time. Instead, it looks like he is wiping his tongue with one hand, and hitting his ear with the other one. Make of this what you will.

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