This is the first in what I hope will be a regular series of posts in which I discuss today's most pertinent and pressing issues.
Ted Haggard: Who knew hypocrisy was the shortcut to one's very own HBO series? I would much rather watch the series about the funny New Zealand musicians -- who, I may add, have never to my knowledge lied to megachurch congregations about sex or meth use. Also, is Little Britain USA coming back?
The Steelers: Even though I have no emotional or geographic attachment to Pittsburgh's team, I'll be rooting for them on Sunday. As I have mentioned before, part of the reason I'm rooting for the Steelers is that I really don't want to see Kurt Warner lifting another Lombardi Trophy over his head. I find Warner truly odious: he is the kind of sanctimonious person who believes that anyone who doesn't believe exactly what he believes will go directly to hell. Every time I've seen him on TV, he never fails to work Jeebus1 into every sentence.
Miss Croatia: According to published reports, Josipa Kusic, the reigning Miss Croatia, said on a TV show in that country, "Faggotry is taking a stride in this country." I think it would be amusing to hear these words voiced by Stewie Griffin, the baby from "Family Guy."
Starbucks announces more layoffs, closings: The coffeehouse chain is cutting back in other areas, as well. I'm sitting in my local Starbucks right now. Instead of putting inspirational quotes from poets, authors, and world leaders on their cups and sleeves, they apparently are turning to a lower cost source for verbiage. The quote on my cup today says "I've just gone through so much in my life that pulling my top up just doesn't seem like that big a deal," and it's from Nicole Richie.
1Dave is not sure he can use the official name of this deity, as it is a registered trademark of Pat Robertson Inc.