Q. What is Dave wearing today?
A. Dave is wearing a black polo shirt and a pair of khaki pants.
Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave feels politically astute.
Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. At dinner last night, Complementary Spouse Britt Shirley and Rabbi Steve Meyerburgensteenwitzsky listed the merits and drawbacks of every potential running mate for John McCain and Barack Obama. No possibility went unmentioned — they even discussed Lloyd Bensten (primary disadvantage: too old; secondary disadvantage: too dead) and Edmund Muskie (primary disadvantage: the crying thing; secondary disadvantage: also too dead).
Q. If Dave were running for office, who would his running mate be?
A. Dave would choose comedian Zach Galifianakis. I believe the key to winning the election is to have a ticket that no one can pronounce. Simanoff-Galifianakis '08!