Q. What is Dave wearing today?
A. On last night's "Late Night with David Letterman," celebrity chef Emeril Lagasse claimed "an apron is a great substitute for pants." Fortunately for everyone, Dave is ignoring this advice today.
Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave is a happy camper.
Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. Dave's happy camping feeling have nothing to do with the actual hobby of camping. Dave has not been camping since the Transatlantic Council of the Boy Scouts of America hosted some kind of Father-Son jamboree in the early 1980s on the campus of the American Community School in Cobham, England. Thinking back, Dave doesn't even think that there was in fact any camping involved -- the program just ran into the night. Dave and his dad were probably relieved to get home and sit on a proper couch and watch Knight Rider or some other dreadful American program.
Q. What does Dave think of the new Knight Rider?
A. Dave didn't watch the new Knight Rider, but he's sure he would not have enjoyed it.