To: Everyone who wears silk ties and eats salads
Date: Tuesday, Jan. 8
If you drip no-name low-calorie salad dressing on a silk tie, do not try to remove it with a one-year-old Tide-To-Go instant stain remover pen, as I did yesterday. Remants of the stain will still be visible, and your tie will smell like a tuna fish milkshake that has been left to rot in the sun all afternoon. It is not pleasant. Please let me misfortune spare you a similar experience.