I am the very model of a modern major general.
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral.
I know the kings (and queens) of England, and I quote the fights historical,
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical.
Q. What is Dave wearing today?
A. Dave is doing some teevee work today, so he's wearing a sports jacket and tie. He is also wearing many other articles of clothing, so there is no need to alert the police.
Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave feels plucky and adventure-ey.
Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. Dave has been listening to Gilbert & Sullivan.
Q. Why is Dave not gloating about LSU's decisive victory over Ohio State in the BCS Championship Game?
A. Dave has promised not to point out this loss, another in a long string of Ohio State losses to SEC powerhouses, to reformed sourpuss Doug Stanley. So Dave cannot cannot perform his new song, which is sung to the tune of Minnie Riperton's "Loving You":
Is easy 'cause LSU is beautiful
Do do do do doahh ... aahhhhhhhh!
Also, Dave doesn't wish to gloat too much as he doesn't like LSU all too much. He prefers to think of Monday's win as a victory for the SEC.
Go Securities & Exchange Commission!