Monday, November 26, 2007

You're So Vain You Probably Think These Four Questions Are About You

Your hat: strategically dipped below one eye.
Your scarf: it was apricot.
Your questions: there were four.

Q. What is Dave wearing?
A. Dave is wearing a blue dress shirt, blue pants, and a red tie. It's a rather simplistic outfit, now that Dave thinks about it.

Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave is worried about money issues.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. Dave and Britt purchased a new washing machine and dryer over the weekend. They will be delivered sometime this morning; Britt will be home. Last night, Dave damaged his car -- he pulled forward too far in a parking space, and the plastic protector on the bottom of the car got entangled on the concrete barrier that is, ironically, designed to keep you from damaging your car by pulling too far forward in the parking space.

Q. Can't Dave just fix the bottom of the car with duct tape?
A. Dave laughs at the idea of just fixing anything automotive. He knows how to fill the gas tank, replace the wiper blades, and fill the windshield wiper fluid tank -- and that's about it.

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