Q. What is Dave wearing?
A. Dave is wearing a blue long-sleeve dress shirt and a pair of brown dress pants. He has a blue sports jacket, which is in his car.
Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave feels swell. He feels great. He's going to have the whole world on a plate. Starting here, starting now, honey, Dave says everything is coming up roses.
Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. Dave appears to be suffering from Ethelmermanitis. He hopes a cure is discovered soon.
Q. Has Dave recently seen any signs that were supposed to suggest holiday festivities but, in reality, made him think of indigestion?
A. Yes. Dave recently saw the following sign at Champps cq, the ritzy sports bar at International Plaza:
Dave doesn't think the traditional martini, garnished with two olives, would mix well with a peppermint candy cane.