I introduced myself as Loc, and she said, "You're a liar."
I said, "I got it goin' on, baby doll, and I'm on fire."
I took her to the hotel; she said, "You're the king."
I said, "Be my queen, if you know what I mean, and let us do The Four Questions."
Q. What is Dave wearing?
A. Dave looks stunning in a dark blue polo shirt and a a pair of olive green pants. He bought these clothes either in Milan, at the Gucci store, or on Dale Mabry Highway, at the Target store. He gets the two places confused.
Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave is eager for the work week to wind down, and for the weekend to begin.
Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. Dave's looking forward to the weekend because he and Britt have tickets to see "Jewtopia" at the Tampa Bay Performing Arts Center Friday night, which promises to be great fun. (Dave is bringing a notebook, as he's promised to write a review for the Tribune.) Also, Dave and Britt may head to the zoo this weekend to visit their baby elephant friend Tamani. If the weather is foul, they have several unwatched Netflix DVDs to watch.
Q. How much weight has Dave lost so far with Weight Watchers?
A. Dave has lost nearly 15 pounds, but he may gain all that weight back very soon as Giordano's, the Chicago-based restaurant chain known for its delicious deep dish pizza, finally opened a shop less than five minutes from Shirlanoff Manor. Dave has not been to Giordano's yet, but he knows he cannot resist temptation for long. By this time next week, Dave expects to weigh approximately the same as Jabba the Hutt.