Wednesday, October 17, 2007

America Loves The Four Questions

If you're not with the Four Questions, you're against the Four Questions.

Q. What is Dave wearing?
A. Dave is wearing a burgundy polo shirt and tan pants.

Q. How does Dave feel today?
A. Dave is hyperactive.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood today?
A. Dave's been in Starbucks, writing and inhaling a lot of caffeine. Here at Starbucks, coffee isn't just in the cups -- it's in the atmosphere. Dave's theory is that little caffeine particulates swirl through the air, get breathed in, and are absorbed into the bloodstream. Just as miners suffer from black lung disease, frequent Starbucks customers can contract brown lung disease.

Q. How does Dave plan to deal with his hyperactivity?
A. Dave thinks a nice Mountain Dew, followed by a Red Bull chaser, will calm him down.

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