Monday, August 16, 2004

Je Me Souviens

Greetings from Québec City, one of those few places on this planet where the postcards don't lie. Everything here is spectacular: stunning views of the St. Lawrence River, the eclectic mix of shops lining the cobblestone streets, the little parks and statues waiting behind every corner. And, of course, there's me, huffing like an asthmatic Big Bad Wolf after trekking to the top of the Citadel. Britt said there were 310 steps, but I know he's lying: there were at least 31,000 by my count. If the climb were any higher, I'd need Tenzing Norgay and a lot of canisters of oxygen.

Tomorrow: back to the flatter terrain of Montréal, where I can reward myself for such an active day in Québec by grabbing fistfulls of Tim Hortons donuts and cramming them into my face.

Incidentally, the Tim Hortons donut chain has a product that's much like the Munchkins at Dunkin' Donuts. They are called Tim Bits. I find this name troubling on several levels.

Friday, August 13, 2004

Hindsight Is Always 20/20

Looking back at the title of this morning's Hurricane Charley post ("Not A Matter Of If, But When"), I guess should have known that with hurricanes, it is always a matter of if.

Another Dead Celebrity, Another Haiku

Poor Julia Child:

Unless she's going to hell,

She'll have no more roasts.

I have nothing against Julia Child, of course. I just like the whole roast/hell thing in this haiku. Quite frankly, I'm more familiar with Dan Ackroyd's classic SNL impression of Julia Child than I am of Child herself.

It's Not Raining, It's Not Pouring

Here's the message I typed up this evening for out-of-town friends and family:

To: A Whole Bunch of People

From: Dave

Subject: We Were Prepared ... But Spared

Hello all!

Britt and I are high and somewhat dry. Hurricane Charley decided to take a detour at the last minute, coming ashore near Port Charlotte. As I write this, Charley is rushing across the state toward Orlando. It's never good news when a hurricane hits, but Britt and I feel really lucky that we were spared the brunt of the storm.

The day began with an eerie calm, and the sky was steel gray. It was quiet and surreal, and everyone could sense something sinister in the air. One of my coworkers (who comes from Utah) turned to me around noon and said, "I will never look at the phrase 'the calm before the storm' the same way again."

We got some moderate rain today, and practically no wind. Britt, who didn't have to report to work of course, said the electricity never went out at home. I got back from work around 7 o'clock, mentally exhausted and unable to consume one more iota of hurricane-related news.

Tonight we are safe and sound and we'll be sleeping in our own bed! Now, let's hope that Lee and Michon (my brother and sister-in-law, for those of you who don't know) don't get doused too badly tonight: Charley's expected to sweep through Jacksonville after it gets through Orlando.

Thanks for thinking of us.



Not A Matter Of If, But When

It is, literally, the calm before the storm. Britt and I left the house at nine in search of a hot meal. We checked drove to restaurants, all closed, before finding a Burger King on South Dale Mabry Highway that had a line of people waiting for their food but just three people working in the kitchen. I waited 20 minutes for those Cini-Minis and, boy, were they delicious.

Outside it is cool and comfortable, with no wind and much less humidity than normal. It is a sinister calm: one that we can't enjoy.

I head to work sometime around noon, and I will probably be there until noon on Saturday. Britt is staying home to hold down the fort. The house isn't in an evacuation zone, and despite the massive storm surge Charley is expected to bring, we probably won't see any flooding in our neighborhood.

Wednesday, August 11, 2004

Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Monday, August 09, 2004

Friday, August 06, 2004

It's A Very Freaky Obit

Rick James' death has spurred a flurry of haiku:

Mrs. Varga (aka Said Sarah) wrote the first one:

Rick James was a freak

Farewell big pompadour hair

Say "hi" to Weezie.

My response:

Very freaky corpse --

Don't bring him home to mutha.

RIP Rick James

The complementary spouse wrote:

When did Rick James die?

I never heard anything

No more Super Freak?

And Jeff Houck (of Side Salad fame) penned these three gems:

At the pearly gates,

St. Peter tells Rick James he's

"Super freak-ay, yow."

In heaven, Rick James learns

Angelic bitches like to

Party all the time.

In Rick James' heaven

There's incense, wine and candles:

Such a freaky scene!

Sunday, August 01, 2004

Out Of The Mouth Of Dave's

Here are some of the things that I said this weekend in Boston when, it seems, my brain wasn't working:

-- "Anorexia is just another word for hot."

-- "We are much closer to where we are than I thought we are."