Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Four Questions is back. Let's see how long this lasts.

Q. What is Dave wearing?
A. Dave is wearing blue shorts, a burgundy polo shirt, and blue Crocs. These Crocs don't squeak as much as his old Crocs, but they're still quite squeaky.

Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?
A. Dave feels a bit overwhelmed.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood?
A. Dave is swamped at work.

Q. Does Dave want to go Glamping?
A. Dave would love to go Glamping. Who wouldn't want to go camping with room service?

Saturday, August 20, 2011

The Four Questions is allowed to put Baby in a corner

Q. What is Dave wearing?
A. Dave is wearing a green plaid short-sleeve button-down shirt and a pair of khaki cargo shorts. He is also wearing his Crocs, which were recently inducted into the Guinness Book of World Records as the World's Squeakiest Footwear.

Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?
A. Dave feels alert, productive, and upbeat.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood?
A. Dave wishes he knew why twice this week he has awoken bright eyed, bushy tailed, eager to hit the grindstone, and full of clichés. He recently stopped taking the prescription drugs Procrastinateitoll and Idlex. Dave doesn't recall why he was prescribed these things in the first place.

Q. Has Dave seen "Dirty Dancing"?
A. Dave has never seen "Dirty Dancing." This means that he knows he should not put Baby in a corner, although he doesn't know why he doesn't do this.

For the first time in his life, Dave now feels inclined to watch "Dirty Dancing." Here are his reasons:

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

The Four Questions calls for an immediate end to anarchy in the UK

Q. What is Dave wearing?

A. Dave is wearing a burgundy polo shirt and khaki pants. He's also wearing his iPod nano, which has been pulling double duty as a pedometer recently.

Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?

A. Dave is in a cautiously upbeat mood.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood?

A. Dave is catching up with two of his favorite people, Miss Cherizon and Michael "Stop Your Lies" Fechter, over the next few days. He's also starting graduate school at the end of the month. So he has lots of good things to look forward to.

Q. What did Dave think of the new Smurfs movie?

A. Dave did not smurf the new Smurfs movie. But if Dave had smurfed the Smurfs movie, he would have smurfed up his smurfcorn all over the floor in disgust.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Four Questions have long legs and burgundy lips, and are dancin' down on the Sunset Strip

Q. What is Dave wearing?

A. Dave is wearing shorts and a dark blue polo shirt, as it's a work-from-home day. Which, of course, means it's a work-from-Starbucks day.

Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?

A. Dave is in an circumspective mood.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood?

A. Dave's holiday weekend begins tonight, but he has a lot of work to complete -- and a lot of travel to conduct -- before the fun begins. So he's trying to stay focused.

Q. What does Dave want for his birthday?

A. Dave wants world peace. If world peace is not available at this time, Dave would like Tiger Beat magazine.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

It's one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and the Four Questions

Q. What is Dave wearing?

A. Dave is wearing a professional-grade dress shirt as he sips on his industrial-grade iced coffee:


Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?

A. Dave is in an industrious mood.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood?

A. Dave is very busy at work, and trying to get a lot of things finished before leaving for vacation. He can't tell you what he's working on, though. He's sworn to secrecy.

Q. Has Dave created any interesting tables that summarize right wing hypocrisy recently?

A. In fact, Dave put together the following table yesterday:

Monday, June 27, 2011

The Four Questions doesn't have a problem with focus -- oh, look, kittens!

Q. What is Dave wearing?

A. Dave invites you to peer through his computer screen and take a look:



Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?

A. Dave is in a way-to-go-New-York-and-my-nephew-just-turned-four-and-we're-heading-out-for-a-great-holiday-weekend sort of mood. But he's keeping it all inside. As you can clearly see in the photo.

Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood?

A. Are you asking what factors are involved in a way-to-go-New-York-and-my-nephew-just-turned-four-and-we're-heading-out-for-a-great-holiday-weekend mood? It's kind of easy to figure out.

Q. What did Dave think of "Cars 2"?

A. Dave finds it a little disconcerting that the cars, which are both sentient beings and modes of transportation, will rely on other sentient modes of travel to get around. What does it mean when Mater is inside an airplane? Does the airplane feel like it has been violated? And what about trains? Is that the Cars universe equivalent of "The Human Centipede"? None of these important issues were addressed in the G-rated film.

Friday, June 24, 2011

The Four Questions are robots in disguise

Q. What is Dave wearing?

A. Uncle Dave is hanging out with his two nephews. One person is wearing a blue short-sleeve shirt and a pair of tan shorts. Another person is wearing a blue New Zealand Rugby tee shirt and plaid shorts. The third person is wearing an adorable pair of teddy bear jammies, and sucking on a blue pacifier. Can you guess what Dave is wearing? That's right! The pajamas!


Q. What kind of mood is Dave in?

A. Dave thinks, therefore he is ... being sued by the Descartes estate.


Q. What are the factors affecting Dave's mood?

A. Dave is getting ready for Ryland's birthday party. There will be cake!

Q. What is Dave buying Ryland for his birthday?

A. Dave got Ryland a cappuccino maker and a drum set. Dave wants to be sure he never has to buy any more presents for his nephews again.